20 Things Men (Maybe) Don't Know About Women

1. “Just because we aren’t saying it out loud doesn’t mean we aren’t picturing your hot brother naked, fantasizing about the ‘under the radar’ cute boy on the subway or masturbating twice a day too!” — Melissa, 30
2. “It’s fun to play the damsel in distress sometimes. I love how proud you get when you squash a spider or open that impossible jar.” — Jenna, 21
3. “I love big hands on men. I love the dimples on the small of their backs. If I am in love with them, I think they are the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I love it when they are manly and when they cry. A man who can make good eggs will make me fall in love with him.” — Ashley, 30
4. “Sometimes, when we have sex with you, we’re only doing it to keep the peace.” — Becca, 27
5. “If we demand to pay for our half, chances are, we aren’t thinking of you on a romantic level.” — Melissa, 30
6. “I may tell you that I hate porn and don’t want you watching it, but if you’re not around, I will indulge in some myself.” — Stephanie, age 26
7. “When asked if we are okay and we say, “I’m fine,” we’re lying! Truth is we are not fine but we rather keep peace or want the guy to just automatically sense something is wrong. Yes, we except men to be mind readers” — Crystal, 27
8. “Get rough. Pull my hair, smack my ass, sink in your teeth, growl at me…I’m in charge of my life for the other 23 hours of the day…you take control for a while.” — Lynn, 29
9. “One of the most fun parts about being a woman is that we get to wear cute shoes!” — Kim, 26
10. “No, your penis isn’t big.  It’s average-sized, and I think it’s perfect!” — Nicole, 25
11. “Ask me questions…about my job, my day, my favorite vacation, my family, my beliefs. It tells me that you’re interested and invested and makes me feel super secure in your feelings for me.” — Lynn, 29
12. “I get (really) horny too!! Just because I don’t think about it night and day doesn’t mean I don’t think about it at all.” — Jenna, 21
13. “We girls are strong.  We can handle anything our “crazy” friends and families throw at us, we can give birth and handle 3 days worth of cramps… every. single. month.  But every once in a wile, we like to be taken care of.  So please guys, lift the heavy stuff for us, ok?” — Trish, 26
14. “Not all women get PMS. I’m the exact same before my period, on it and after it.” — Sara, 28
15. “If you’re only looking for “action”, don’t ask us for a relationship. Be upfront - if we say no, it would have ended unhappily anyway and you’d be better off finding someone who is looking for the same thing you are.”— Danica
16. “Girls love the little gestures just as much as the big ones. If not more.” — Ashley, 23
17. “Women nickname all their guys! Every single guy I’ve dated (and there’s been lots) has a nickname: Quickie Burger, Ice Cream Guy, Shorty, Beefy Italian, Abs Guy, Latin Lover, Mr. King, Leafs Guy, Jack Rabbit, The Candidate. It’s just a way to talk to your girlfriends so they can keep everyone straight.” — Sara, 28
18. “We know if seems unfair that we use femininity to get stuff guys can’t, but there’s a lot of things that are unfair in your favor.  Give us this one.” — Sonia, 27
19. “I’m a woman and I love sports — I have since I was a kid. I have NEVER pretended to like sports to get a guy to like me. I can sit with my best female friends and talk celebrity gossip, fashion, and relationships (thank you, The Frisky!), and I can turn around and talk NHL, NFL, and MLB records, standings, and stats with my guy friends, and I’m proud of it!” — Alexis, 27
20. “We hate when you dismiss our opinions and emotions with a comment about how we’re “on our periods”. It’s possibly one of the most obnoxious things you could do, and will instantly make a woman feel like you don’t respect her.”  — Jen, 18

Source: Wendy Atterberry  http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-20-things-men-dont-know-about-women/

20 iPhone Apps to Make You a Better Lover

No, the title of this post is not a joke – with the number of apps that are being written especially for the iPhone, why is it so surprising that there are a few that are meant for those who yearn to get on the right side of their beloved or the one they’re trying to impress. After all, haven’t you heard that love makes the world go round? So if you want to become a better lover, here goes – a list of apps (in no particular order of importance) that will help you on your way:
Finders keepers…
1. Girlfriend Keeper: If you’re bad with dates and remembering anniversaries, this is just the app for you. It sends out romantic texts based on levels of affection – it’s like cruise control for text messages.
2. Skout Flirting: Another nifty mobile dating app that allows you to hook up with eligible singles who match your preferences.
3. Cellphone Tracker: This app allows you to find your lover’s location using their cellphone number, so it’s a great tool if you’re looking to catch them out on a lie or just catch up with them.
Tools of the trade…
4. Phospho: Before you dismiss this as just another flashlight app, try using it when you’ve dropped your condom in the dark and fumbling for it and enjoy your lover’s gratitude.
5. Textfree Unlimited: Use this app to drive your lover crazy with sweet, romantic and saucy messages all through the day – it’s all free, so go ahead and text away!
6. Brascanner: Wow your lover with this app by scanning her fingerprint and predicting what bra color she’s wearing – you can get her to prove later that you’re right, or wrong. It’s a win-win situation either way!
7. Skype: Use Skype for your iPhone to call or IM your lover, anytime you want to and free of cost.
Sex it up…
8. Sex Drive Up: This app claims to boost your sex drive if you listen to the binaural voiceover for just 15 minutes – try it out to become a better lover.
9. Vibrate Massager: It’s designed to be used on your neck to relieve aching muscles, but hey, who knows? It could be put to better use elsewhere too if you’re adventurous enough!
10. Sexulator: Use this app to keep complete track of your sex life; add when, where, how and with who into a password protected app that is displayed innocuously on your screen as Cal.
11. Sex Positions Decision Maker: If you’re running out of new positions and still feeling adventurous, try out this free app for additional insight and information on how to maximize your performance as a lover.
12. Passion: Download this app if you want to prove how good a lover you are – when you strap your iPhone to your wrist or place it on the bed before you start to have sex, it appraises your sexual performance based on movement and the intensity of orgasm, and rates you on a scale of 10. Warning: Any damage to your iPhone is at your own risk.
13. Bedometer: You can not only count the number of calories you expend when having sex with this app, you can also post your score on Facebook for all your friends to see! How’s that for spicing up your sex life and boosting your image as a lover!
14. Spice Dice: This app is from Durex, your friendly condom maker; it promises to spice up your sex life with tips on positions and other sexual tidbits when you shake the dice.
15. How Much do You Know About Sex: The perfect quiz to take with your lover – find out how much you both know about sex and how you can discover the rest together.
Look who’s talking…
16. Mirror in Your Pocket: Need to know how you look before that hot date and there’s no mirror in sight? This app lets you use your iPhone as a mirror, and voila, you’re all set to go.
17. Track your Weight: Let’s face it – fat is not fit, and if you’re not fit, you don’t fit into the image of a lover boy. So use this app to keep track of your weight and stay on your diet and fitness track.
18. Gymgoal Life: If your weight is getting out of hand or if you want to revamp your fitness routine, use this app to gain access to a variety of exercises and the best and safest ways to do them.
19. GoodFoodNearYou: If you’re looking for a bite to eat either before you head back to her place or when you’re done and ready to leave for a night out, use this app to help you find a restaurant that offers healthy food.
20. Diet2Go: Gain access to the largest collection of diets and latest news concerning weight loss information and healthy eating with this app – your lover is sure to be impressed with both your attitude and your fit and healthy body.
This guest post is contributed by Anna Miller, who writes on the topic of online degrees. She welcomes your comments at her email id: anna.miller009@gmail.com. original post can be found on iphonedownloadblog.com

What are Pheromones?

What Are Pheromones?

The power of smell is undeniable, as the multi-billion dollar perfume industry testifies. But, is it possible that humans are influenced by airborne chemicals undetectable as odors, called pheromones? It appears so. Pheromones are natural chemical scents the body produces in order to attract others. Scientific studies have actually shown that people who used synthesized pheromones had sex more often. Researchers at the University of Chicago said, “The power of scent is undeniable, humans are influenced by airborne chemicals undetectable as odors, called pheromones.” Their research found the first proof that humans produce and react to pheromones. Perhaps pheromone products also tend to give guys a boost of confidence they need to ask women out and vice versa.

Pheromones are defined as chemicals released by an individual that act on another individual of the same species, as opposed to hormones which act on the same individual. Pheromones are odorless molecules found in many animals, including humans, that trigger primal urges connected with sex, defence and kinship.

The pheromone sensors are called Vomeronasal Organs (VNOs) and they are located inside the nose, just as are the organs that pick up olfactory signals (smells). Pheromone information from the VNO is carried straight to the hypothalamus, the older part of the human brain, and we are not aware of its presence. We cannot “smell” pheromones in the same way as we might smell roses or car exhaust fumes.
Until recently the VNOs were thought to be vestigial organs that we humans no longer use, but as you may have noticed, some perfume manufacturers are adding pheromones to their products, and trying to convince us that the use of scents with added pheromones will make us more attractive sexually. Scientists disagree about whether humans still use pheromones as a method of inter-personal communication: current research seems to indicate that we do, although the effects occur below our conscious awareness. Any effects that do exist are considerably less obvious in human beings than in other animals.

George Preti, a researcher at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia says that pheromones are airborne chemical signals that influence mating, dominance, family ties, and maturation. In humans, pheromones seem to convey information about identity, kinship, age, health, happiness, fertility and arousal.

 How Does Smell Work Anyway?

The sense of smell belongs to the chemical sensing system of our brain. This complicated process of begins when tiny molecules released by the substances around us stimulate special cells in the nose, mouth, or throat. These special sensory cells transmit messages through nerves to the brain where specific smells are identified. Smell nerve cells, or ol’ factory nerve cells are stimulated by the odors around us. The smell of bread baking, a field of flowers or your wet dog are all processed by the brain. These nerve cells are found in a small patch of tissue high inside the nose. The olfactory sense is interpreted by the part of the brain that is connected to our emotions. Scents have a powerful effect on our moods.

What Are Pheromones Really?

Pheromones are naturally occurring chemicals that send out signals to the opposite sex (or the same sex) that trigger power sexual response.

The word pheromones is taken from the Greek words pherein, meaning “to transfer,” and hormon, meaning “to excite”. Pheromones are odorless, airborne chemical signals that are released by an individual into the environment. These chemicals affect the physiology or behavior of other members of the same species. Although pheromones have been shown to exist in virtually all species of insects and mammals, they also control the behavior of humans, acting as sexual attractants. The secretion of pheromones by humans is believed to dramatically increase both desirability and sexual attractiveness in both men and women.

Researchers at the University of Chicago say they have the first proof that humans produce and react to pheromones. In findings published in the journal Nature, they claim they found that female ovulation can be regulated -- made longer or shorter -- through the use of pheromones. Maybe something to try if you're looking for that someone special. “The pheromones regulate the time of ovulation. There are two pheromones -- one that makes ovulation more likely and the other that suppresses it and makes it less likely,” said Martha McClintock of the University of Chicago. So, if you find yourself feeling attracted to someone, but you don't know why. It may indeed be due to their scent. Or, if you see someone you are attracted to, but when you meet them, the attraction is gone, again, it might be pheromones at work again. You can search the Internet and find tons of pheromone products for sale. Lover’s Lane has these new pheromones from System Jo!  When you put them on right after getting out of the shower they stimulate your natural scent. 

Many people use aromatherapy for relaxation or invigoration and pheromones too. I do and it works for me. The System Jo one is my new favorite, I use it everyday. It definitely attracts attention in the bar so I have no complaints… Instant Sexy is pretty good too. But check it out…it’s definitely something cool and new to try then standard perfume.

Become an Amazon Woman!

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.

There may be something wrong with me, I really like to watch these animated people hump away in different positions.  I get hypnotized in the back and forth motions, and am impressed that the guy can last forever, and the girl never cramps up!  If you haven't noticed by now, its time  for another sex position of the week!  Ever since I found the site sexinfo101, I cant wait to share these awesome positions with everyone.

This one is called the Reverse Amazon, considered one of the "tougher" woman on top positions, but come on! everything in life shouldnt be super easy right? Plus, ladies get a sense of power and control that is lost in most other positions...

missing from this position: power, control.

personally I think the guy would be having some trouble if their lady friend has balance issues! This is supposed to be no problem though, since she will be resting on the legs of the guy underneath her. So all bases covered! to top it all off, the reviews on this site really make the positions that much more awesome. Capone99 claims that this position is absolute "HEAVEN" and that he "usually come in bucket loads after she rides me like that, for sure!"  Try it for yourself and see what you think! don't forget to leave comments below!

Foreplay - Don't Forget It!

Men are often very selfish. Sometimes males are unable to look past themselves and think of others. Their egos often cloud their judgment, leaving everyone else in the dust. In the case of intercourse, a male will often climax and immediately roll over to fall asleep. Unfortunately for the female, this is a common occurrence and without the proper education, men will continue to get off and get out. Men tend to look at the small picture and focus on instant gratification. The key to happiness in a long-term or short-term relationship is to pre-heat the oven; never forget foreplay.

Few women, unlike most men, are able to come to an immediate climax. The term pre-heating the oven is used to relate to cooking. Perhaps this analogy isn't the best considering the majority of men, including myself, aren't very good at it. Nonetheless, it gets the point across. Before throwing the frozen pizza in the oven, the directions say something very important, Pre-heat oven at 350 degrees.  Since men are really good at following directions, one would turn the knob to 350 and wait a few minutes. This allows the oven to get to a good temperature to allow the pizza to cook evenly, and perhaps prevent it from burning. Now, the glory of a woman's vagina is hardly comparable to an oven. However, we shall not hastily throw our pizza in because it is likely to get burned. 

The female body has directions too. To prepare a woman for intercourse typically requires about thirty minutes of foreplay. This will allow a female ' s vagina to be ready to receive you and perhaps enjoy a climax or two but don't worry, as she will not be over cooked. Slowly embrace her and feel her entire body. She will get pleasure simply from your contact and the anticipation of accepting you into her body. Don't act like you are in a hurry. Take your time. Hug, kiss and play with her ears, neck and nipples as you slowly work down toward that magic spot. At this point in time it is not necessary to penetrate her, instead use your fingers, lips and tongue as you continue to pleasure her. During this time, do not stop caressing the rest of her body. After a few minutes retreat your hand and avoid her genital area all together. She will go wild from anticipation, causing her to get more and more wet for you. As you since her eagerness from what may have seemed like an eternity, slowly begin to have intercourse but don ' t rush into heavy thrusting. If you have rushed, it is possible the dryness of her vagina can prevent you, and more importantly, her from having a good time. Even with adequate foreplay some women produce very little lubricant so don't take this as a sign of failure, just introduce a bit of water based lubricant. Always treat your lover like a queen, and she will do wonders for you and your royal wand.

When it comes down to it, men enjoy foreplay too. For most men, little is more satisfying than a woman enjoying giving pleasure to him through an act of fellatio. Women need only to look at the man while moaning, and he will love you forever. Also, there are men who love to pleasure a woman through cunnilingus. A nice sixty-nine formation is a surefire way to get the motor running. Foreplay can allow him to get off once before or after enjoying a nice long round of intercourse. Many younger men and some older men can ejaculate multiple times if he is constantly aroused. That's right gals; a man can have multiple orgasms. Don't allow him to roll over and fall asleep on you.

Foreplay is essential to any sexual activity. Taking her to a movie and buying dinner is not foreplay, so don't even think about counting that. If you want to enjoy the wonders of her body, let her enjoy it too. Pre-heat the oven for about 30-40 minutes; don't forget it.

Source: Terrance Lile  http://www.e-healtharticles.com/Detailed/2749.html

Discretion is Advised

Since sex is usually quite a taboo subject on its own, its not too often that you will find random sex toys laying around the house when you drop by to visit friends or family members. Though there is a large percentage of people actually engaging in self loving, most people don't want to show off exactly what they are using when they are looking to get off.

Come on in!!!  I was just about to make lunch...

Some sex toy makers have realized that there is a market to not only manufacture toys that will satisfy you sexually, but is also easy on the eyes (a.k.a. looks less like a penis). So if you would rather have discreet, for that rare chance your sex toy makes it out to the front porch, or you leave it in the back seat of your car, people will at least have to wonder if its some type of fancy garage door opener... 

The looks can be deceiving! It's actually a vibrator from the Lelo company called the Nea, and you can pick one up here.

Of course this is just one example of new styles of vibes that are out there, there are plenty of other types you can check out that Lover's Lane carries. In fact, there is even one shaped like lipstick! So never worry about your toys being found again!

If it buzzes, it's not makeup.

Orgasm Benefits- An Orgasm is Good for You!

According to JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association), 43% of American women suffer from some form of 'Female Sexual Dysfunction -- often placing the blame on themselves for their inability to reach orgasm. Stop blaming yourself. If you are alone, masturbation will help you find what feels right for you. If you have a partner, talk to them. Often the clitoris is under stimulated during sexual intercourse - which is how many women have an orgasm. If you have orgasms from your cervix being stimulated, tell your partner this. (Or, whatever else does it for you). 

Orgasms: Relieve tension! The faster heart beat, the increased blood flow and muscular tautness associated with sexual pleasure all come to a relaxing conclusion with an orgasm, and in the process relieve tensions pent up in your nervous system.

Orgasms: Help you sleep better. While an orgasm is followed in the male by a quick drop in blood pressure and sudden relaxation, the effect on women is more progressive but no less important. Orgasms act as a natural tranquilizer. That wonderful release of endorphins is very calming. 

Orgasms: Calm your cravings for junk food and sometimes for cigarettes. Sexual stimulation activates the production of phenetylamine, a kind of natural amphetamine that regulates your appetite. So, before you pig-out, maybe go to your room. :)
 
Orgasms: Burn calories.

Orgasms: Can work as natural pain management. If you ever noticed forgetting about a headache or menstrual cramps while masturbating or having sex, it is not simply a psychological phenomenon. Endorphins, (natural compounds close to morphine) are released by your body during sex and can increase your tolerance to pain by as much as 70% during orgasm. This will vary from person to person. AND, if you are in the hospital... forget trying this due to the lack of privacy. 

Source: by: Amy Otis, BSN, RN  http://www.e-healtharticles.com/Detailed/352.html

A Sex Position Don't!

So my other co-worker that write for this blog is rather witty.  He gives you good sex positions to try and other classic humor to pass the time.  But when I read his post yesterday about the "socket" position....It made me want to go home and try it.  Don't tell him that though.  When I try it out, I'll make sure that I do a follow-up post and share my results with you.  But in the mean time, let's take a step back and talk about a position that you shouldn't try.

 

"When she raises both of her legs, and places them on her lover's shoulders, it is called the 'yawning position.'" - Vatsyayana

 

The Yawning Position offers the deepest penetration possible in traditional intercourse, essentially turning your penis into one of those armor piercing bullets from Lethal Weapon 3.

woah he's in there...really in there...

Why it's Dangerous:
Believe it or not, the Kama Sutra was written for men with even smaller penises than what women have to settle for today. Back then, a good size dong was about four-inches, whereas today, the average guy maxes out at about six and a half. The average vaginal depth is around five-inches, give or take, so you can do the math. Being positioned for the deepest possible penetration isn't doing men or women any favors unless he's attempting to drill her uterus for oil.
The most common injury is tearing the vaginal wall, but if the guy goes in too far he could end up knocking so hard on the girl's cervix that it ruptures. Basically, if you don't stay in constant communication with each other while attempting this position, you're basically flying blind while performing very delicate surgery with a mallet.

So be cautious...and happy humping :)

The Joy of Vibrating Toys!

I own every single remote control clitoral stimulator  I can get my hands on. It's not because I'm a nympho. It's not because I'm fascinated by remote-control technology. It's not even because testing them is part of my job.

It's because the boyfriend and I have found that nothing leads to a more impassioned night of lovemaking than playing with our remote-controlled adult toys while we have dinner at a nice restaurant.

Here's how a typical night goes: My boyfriend says, "Let's go out to dinner." I reply, "Sure!" He asks, "Do you want to take one of your toys with you?" I smile and go to our bedside box to select that evening's treat.

I usually puzzle over my favorite three: the remote-control turn me on vibrating panty, remote control butterfly, or 7 function egg. The remote controlled panties are great because it fits underneath my clothes almost as well as my regular underwear, making for a seamless experience. I also like the remote-control egg, which I insert directly into my vagina for some powerfully erotic G-spot vibrations. But on most nights, I'll pick the remote-control butterfly, because I find it incredibly comfortable and extremely exciting. A plastic, purple butterfly that clings to my most erogenous zone, the toy also features a vibrating bullet centered over my clitoris. I can't imagine greater bliss!

After I select my toy for the night, I'll slip into a nice outfit, touch up my lipstick and do something special with my hair. On our way out the door, I'll hand the remote to my boyfriend, who smiles as he slips it into his pocket.

On the way to dinner, we test the remote to ensure the batteries are working. We test the toy at every stoplight, to be exact. For me, I get a thrill at knowing that every red light means a fun tingling sensation. For him, he gets a thrill at imagining my anticipation of every red light. Suddenly, racing to make it through the intersection isn't nearly as interesting as slowing down when the light turns yellow -- and traffic, which we normally hate, becomes very sexy.

During dinner, my boyfriend turns on the remote at regular intervals, trying to pick the moments when I'll become the most flustered -- and the most excited. For example, I'll get a zap just as I'm telling the waiter I'd like pan-seared trout, then have to remain calm and unruffled as I tell him I'd prefer potatoes to rice. Or I'll feel a little thrill as I'm lifting the dessert fork to my lips -- giving my chocolate torte with raspberry sauce an entirely new sensual dimension. Or on the way out of the restaurant, he'll turn it on as I'm putting on my coat. By now, my knees are buckling the instant I feel the toy come to life.

The best part about wearing the remote to a restaurant is the interplay between secrecy and shamelessness. Restaurants are so loud no one can possibly hear the hum of the vibrator, so we can be assured that no one will know what's going on under the table. But on the other hand, when we're feeling very bold, we'll leave the remote sitting on the table, daring somebody to see it and guess what we're doing. We both love the mystery of it. Are we being naughty? Will someone figure out our little secret? It's quite a rush.

If we really want to draw out the excitement and anticipation, we go to see a movie afterward. My boyfriend will turn on the vibrator during action scenes, or jokes, or hot love scenes -- whenever the movie is loud enough to drown out the vibrator -- and by the end I can barely get up to leave.

Suffice it to say that by the time we get home, we make a mad dash for the bedroom.

One thing we found out quickly -- remote control vibrators are quiet, but they are vibrators. Don't think you'll get away with your little game in a quiet lecture hall or art museum. Stick to places with a light cover of sound, and only use remote-control toys at events from which you can easily escape -- nothing is worse than getting worked into a frenzy and being caught in the middle of the opera, where you can't get out without causing a ruckus!

Also, be sure to have a full understanding of the time delay between when your partner turns the remote on or off, and when the vibration actually stops or starts. There have been times when my boyfriend thought he turned off the butterfly, only to realize it was still vibrating -- sometimes at an inopportune moment! Practicing at home isn't a bad idea.

Finally, fresh batteries are your friends! It's no fun to anticipate an evening of fun, only to have your toy die on you before they serve the entrée. Test your batteries before you leave home, and consider carrying a fresh set in your purse.

Sometimes we play with remote-controlled toys to put some spark back into our marriage when things seem to have gotten a little routine. Sometimes we do it just because we're feeling randy and silly. Sometimes we feel a little dangerous and naughty. No matter why we do it, we're always satisfied with the end result: a fabulous evening of lovemaking.

Add some excitement.  Try adding a wireless toy to your collection for supreme satisfaction.  Shop Loverslane.com for a wide assortment of wireless toys.

Kegel Exercises - For a Healthy, Happy Sex Life

The vagina—just like every other part of your body—needs regular exercise to keep it resilient, healthy and happy.  Overtime, the vagina and its surrounding muscles on the pelvic floor can weaken, stretch, become torn and no longer offer support due to pregnancy, childbirth, aging, being overweight, abdominal surgery and inactivity.  An important part of vaginal health is exercising a muscle called the PC muscle (pubococcygeus muscle).  It is a hammock-shaped muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone.  It forms the pelvic floor and supports the pelvic organs including the bladder, urethra and vagina.

Advantages of Good PC Health

Exercising your PC muscle has numerous advantages because it strengthens the pelvic floor.  Strengthening this area will help prevent prolapse (slipping or sagging of the uterus), incontinence (loss of bladder or bowel control) and constipation.  For women who are pregnant, a fit PC muscle will help relax muscles during birth allowing for easier deliveries through the birthing canal.  After vaginal births, working the PC muscle will benefit you by restoring vaginal muscle tone and promoting perineal healing (the area between the anus and vagina that can stretch or tear during birth).

Some women suffer from painful disorders like vaginismus (pain from vaginal insertion), dyspareunia (painful intercourse) and female sexual dysfunction (loss of sex drive or diminished sexual satisfaction).  Working your PC muscles will help make your vagina and pelvic floor stronger and more elastic which means it will stretch easier during sexual intercourse.   It will also help stimulate the sex drive by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which will enhance sensitivity and arousal as well as allow you to achieve orgasm easier.  It is important however to consult your doctor if you suffer from any of the above disorders, before beginning any exercise routine.

Enhancing the Sexual Experience

Training your PC muscles is not only for women who suffer from disorders.  PC workouts are very beneficial for all women, regardless of your age, your vagina’s physical condition, or whether or not you have given birth.  Why?  Since the PC muscle also encircles the outside of the vagina, healthy PC muscles will improve sexual arousal, allow you to feel your partner more fully during intercourse and intensify your partner’s pleasure by tightening the vagina cavity, thus enhancing lovemaking for both of you.  And, that’s not all.  Strong PCs allow you to reach orgasm more easily, experience more powerful and pleasurable orgasms, and may even help you achieve multiple orgasms as you learn to better control and respond to your sexual arousal.  Fit PC muscles also improve G-spot stimulation and can help you learn to experience G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation.  Rhythmic squeezing of your PC muscles during intercourse will help increase lubrication, stimulate the clitoris, and massage your partner’s penis to take him to new heights of sexual ecstasy.

Finding your PC Muscle

It is very easy to find your PC muscle.  You probably use it on a daily basis without even being aware of it.  It is the muscle you use when you stop urinating mid-stream.  The muscles of your pelvic floor tighten and your vaginal muscles clench when you activate this muscle.  A method of locating the PC muscle is to insert a finger or two inside your vagina and squeeze until you feel the muscles gripping your fingers.  So now that you’ve found it, how do you exercise it?

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are how you work the PC muscles, strengthen the pelvic floor and restore muscle tone to this area.  Named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, kegels consist of contracting and relaxing the muscles in rhythmic intervals.  There are different types of kegels and different methods for exercising them.  Regularity when doing kegels is more important than how many you do in sequence.  It is therefore recommended to do any of the following exercises three times a day.  You can even mix them up.  The exercises become easier the more often you do them.  Remember to relieve your bladder first before performing kegels.

Basic Kegel

The Basic kegel is a slow, controlled squeeze of the PC muscle, as you draw upward and inward.  Imagine that you are sucking water up through your vagina (you can actually do this in the bathtub when your PC muscles are strong).  Each time you do this hold for a count of 3-5 seconds.  Repeat 10 times.

Pulsing Kegels

Pulsing kegels involves squeezing and releasing the PC muscle rapidly in quick succession, in a pulsing tempo.  It is important to maintain control during these, instead of aiming for speed.  It is not a race.  Work your way up 25 or 30 pulses.

Kegel Push-Outs

This exercise engages the PC muscles more thoroughly giving a great workout.  Slowly squeeze in, taking a deep breath, then slowly, gently push out, releasing your breath.  Continue in a slow, in-out sequence, breathing in, and then out in time with each contraction.  Repeat 10-20 times.

Elevator Kegels

This is my favorite kegel and I find it really works to tighten those muscles.  Imagine that your vagina is an elevator shaft with the opening at the vagina entrance.  Slowly pull the muscles in starting at the vagina, continuing to tighten as you go up the shaft like an elevator going up to the top floor.  Pause at the top, and then slowly lower in reverse sequence.  You will feel the difference just after a few times.  Repeat 10-20 times.

Kegels and Sex Toys

There are several “sex toy” products now available on the market that enhances kegel exercises.  I think of them as barbells for the vagina.  Just as adding weight-training to an exercise routine helps improve strength and muscle tone, adding sex toys to your kegels increases resistance and gives you something to squeeze around, adding an extra benefit to the workout.  You can do this as part of your regular kegel workout, or during masturbation.  Who knew that doing something so pleasurable could benefit you as well!  Try using the following toys while enjoying clitoral stimulation simultaneously to enhance your enjoyment as well as the power of your orgasms.

Juno Weighted Exerciser:

This Kegel style exerciser made of seamless Lucite with increasing weights for the woman who wants to continuously strengthen her PC muscle.Continuously strengthen pelvic floor muscle with this weighted and graduated exerciser; we recommend use with a water-based lubricant.  This toy has a completely seamless design is safer and more comfortable, while smooth surface makes entry and cleanup easier. Beginners should start by using the smaller end with support from the other hand, then work up to the next size/weight. More experienced women can begin with the larger end and work up to holding the exerciser with muscle only. Made by California Exotics. To purchase from Lover's Lane click here.

Vibrating Ben-Wa Balls:
The most incredible balls you will ever get your hands on! They are waterproof and feature high-tech four vibration modes. Pure vaginal or anal pleasure! Two AA batteries required, not included. Made by Novelties by Nasswalk. To purchase from Lover's Lane click here.

Wherever you want to start in learning how to perform kegel excercises is totally up to you.  But...remember ladies!  If you don’t have fit PC muscles you will not experience the full potential of your G-spot or female ejaculation.  So, keep your vagina resilient, healthy and happy.   And, as Sue Johanson says: “Use it or loose it!”

Hammer Time!

Jane Seddon loves euphemisms! And she loves sex! So naturally these two things work out well in her book, Daily Sex. This week Jane gets a bit shy and never mentions penis, vagina, or any other sexual word, instead, she puts on her hard hat and gets ready for a pounding!

In this position, ladies get to "lay the hammer down".  Guys, again you get to lounge and enjoy the view, while your lady lover faces away from you and sits up on you and the bed. To get started, the woman is to "place your hand around his nail to keep the head in place while you lower your hammer down his shaft."

if it looks like this, you are doing it wrong!

I have heard plenty of slang for vagina before, but never has anyone been so creative and ahead of her time as the one and only Jane Seddon! Im falling in love with her and her kinky hammer.  Either way, please do not bring any real hammers into this, or there could be obvious problems.

again...wrong hammer

Ladies, if you lean your upper body forward in this position, it will ensure that the nail will have a nice tight fit. "Keep pounding your hammer up and down the shaft of his nail until both of you orgasm."

Jane finishes this entry off with a question, "would you rather get hammered or nailed?" I still believe that coming up with these positions, Jane was getting hammered.

time for another book!

As always, if you want to enjoy more than one wacky position a week, pick up Jane's book, it really is fun. It even comes with a month and day next to each picture, so you no longer have to use your imagination, just refer to the right page and get to sexin!

(guy pic from denniscooper-theweaklings.blogspot.com, mc hammer from sufferthegringo.wordpress.com)

The Curve - Sex Toy Review

I have been coveting the Curve dildo  for some time.  Lucky me, my wish came true and my fairy Godmothers at Lover’s Lane have sent me a sex toy that even Cinderella’s ugly step-sisters would adore!  Now, before the review, I’d like to present you with a bit of background on my personal preferences for sex toys, as I believe that everyone’s likes/dislikes are different, as well as personal experience, so therefore no matter how objective you are as a reviewer, your review is always somewhat subjective, obviously.

First of all, I am a clit junkie.  I get off on vibrating clitoral stimulation, so I naturally love/adore/swoon over little clit vibes that rock my world.  That said, I do also enjoy a good vaginal shagging, but usually dildos are not my favorite type of toys.  However, in the past year I have been experimenting with my G-spot a lot and curved G-spot dildos are perfect for that purpose.

Now the Curve.  Well, from visual observations alone, I could tell that the unique design of the Curve’s shape was going to hit it’s target.  In fact, I have never seen a sex toy object better fashioned for this ultimate purpose.  The folks at Fun Factory (the dildo’s manufacturers) really know their stuff.  The Curve comes packaged in a nicely designed box with an information booklet and some free lube too which was a plus for me.  One of my pet peeves is sex toy packaging that is usually superfluous and not often environmentally friendly.  The Fun Factory box is well designed however for storage (if you want to save it to keep the dildo in) and made of cardboard for biodegradable recycling (if you want to chuck it).  The booklet inside also gives you a good idea of how to use the dildo, in case you have never experimented with G-spot stimulation.  This is an added bonus, for I know from working at a sex store that many women don’t know how to find theirs or when they do, how to stimulate it.

So, it was late afternoon when I curled up on the couch with my curvy new lover.  If you can imagine Puff the Magic Dragon with a dick, the Curve is probably what it would look like with its purple color, curling design and winding ridges.  I didn’t waste any time lubing up the large, bulbous head with some water-based lubricant (generally speaking, you shouldn’t use silicone lubricant with a silicone sex toy as it can cause a chemical reaction and ruin your beloved toy).  The head was very thick and it took a moment for me to warm up to it and insert it through my lips.  Once inside however, I opened upon it like a flower in bloom.  I then got it comfortably positioned exactly where I wanted it: on my G-spot.  The Curve is not meant for deep vaginal penetration, as it would be difficult to achieve that with its specially designed extreme S-shape.  It is meant for hitting the G-spot, which on most women is about 1″-2″ inside the vagina on the front wall just under the pelvic bone.  Not very deep. 

Most times with a G-spot dildo or vibe, I use a pressure “ramming” action rather than an in-and-out, to stimulate my spot.  The G-spot–on most women–responds best to direct, firm pressure similar to that of a firm rubbing or tapping stroke.  The Curve is designed so you can effectively achieve this firm rubbing stroke by sliding it in-and-out by varying degrees as the heavily-ridged head stimulates the G-spot constantly no matter how you control it.  The dildo is also made of medical-grade silicone which is very firm (therefore giving the ideal amount of pressure with little effort), yet flexible enough that it moves as a part of you: never too hard or too soft.  The texture is luxurious and velvety soft.

I was amazed that with just a few of these short pumping strokes, my G-spot responded instantly.  I usually have to be very turned on when I try G-spot stimulation (either with clitoral stimuli and a vibe, or much foreplay with a lover), but not so with the Curve.  My G-spot puffed up like an inflatable prune transforming into plum (kind-of like a pumpkin transforming into a carriage? Okay, not quite) with only a few strokes and the feeling was simply euphoric, even magical one might say.  I soon revved up the pumping action with a tilt of my wrist which was so easy to achieve because of the Curve’s lovely “royal curl” handle which virtually does all the work for you.  Moments later I exploded with full body orgasms quickly followed by a wet rush of ejaculate.  Time stood still (as if I were transported into a whimsical fairytale land), yet the sensation seemed to go on happily-ever-after. Okay.  Enough of the silly fairytale metaphors.

This is the first dildo that has ever blown me totally away.  And, although I’m not quite ready yet to give up my happy little clit vibes, the Curve has a permanent place on my bedside table, safe and handy in its own little box.

So, to reiterate the pluses of the Curve:
It has a innovatively designed curve perfect for G-spot stimulation, Large heavily-ridged head rubs just the right spot, Firm silicone material for firm yet gentle stroking, eco-friendly packaging, Comes with a how-to booklet,  Is 100% medical-grade silicone so easy to keep clean, hypoallergenic, latex and phthalate-free and non-porous (has no pores for germs to hide in), Dishwasher safe, boilable, and waterproof

Negatives?  Well, I hate to think of how many dragons are flying around penis-less just to make us girls happy.  Poor Puff!

This wonderful dildo review was brought to you by the Fairy Godmothers at VibeReview and Fairytales everywhere that leave you happily-ever-after.  Seriously, though-No Dragons were harmed in the manufacturing of the wonderful product.

Careful what you put in your butt

This week, hottie Amy Sung is hanging out with her dad to protect his creative invention, the Pro-state massager.

If you are unfamiliar with the name of this medical device, it can also be found under its less medical name, more sex toy label- the Aneros.  Mr. Jiro Takashima came up with the design of the aneros and had it patented back in 1998, for proper stimulation and massage of the male prostate. Suddenly, guys were finding out that not only was it for health purposes, but also felt pretty good, and had effects on their sex life. "“We started getting calls from men saying things like ... ‘I can last longer in bed,' and asking if that was normal,” Sung said.  With the proper shape in place, guys no longer have to use such things as pens, pencils, wooden spoons, cigar tubes, mop handles, remotes, small animals etc. to reach the prostate, a.k.a. the male g-spot.

 knew about male g-spot since '93 biatch!

Her father came up with the product, and some other medical devices he's invented, after a Japanese urologist told him years ago that prostate problems were more common among Americans, Sung said. She said her father's knowledge of how an engine works may have helped him develop this massager that works with muscle contractions.

similar to a guys butt

So since the aneros is patented, there is court drama over the design of Takashima's work, vs. some company called Libertybelle and their similar product. The whole article can be read here.

If you or someone you know has love for such a product, or knows about the male g-spot and has something to say, throw it in the comments, we did do a review a while back right here on Intimacy Advisor, check it out! Or get your own Aneros for some g-spot fun at Lover's Lane.

(engine pic from ridelust.com, snoop from datpiff.com)

The LAYAspot - Toy Review

Let me begin by saying I am a huge fan of Fun Factory’s products because of their good quality and the fun designs always get me excited to try them out.

The LAYAspot is a clitoral vibrator that has an attractive design with fun colour combinations to choose from. It is ergonomic, tasteful and unassuming - something that you could comfortably give as a gift. I was very impressed with the presentation of the product: smart packaging, good instructions and even includes a sampler lubricant for those who forgot to pick some up with their toy.

The waterproof LAYAspot is made of plastic and silicone so that you’re completely confident when using it in the bedroom and the bathtub. However, remember this rule of thumb: to maximize its life, remove your batteries each and every time to let the battery compartment dry out after submerging it in water.

LAYAspot offers a simple soft touch control pad with 3 intensities of vibration, giving it much greater lasting appeal over one-setting vibrators. The vibe's intensity on the top setting was more than sufficient to be pleasurable and its shape was very comfortable to use. The other two settings are great for warming up, or for those who prefer a less intense experience.

My overall impression of the product and its presentation was excellent. It is a bit more expensive than some of its closest competitors, but the extra money is worth it.

Journey to the G-Spot

Positions everyone! It's time for another installment of Intimacy Advisor sex position of the week.  Hooray!

 fans of my sex positions

Now that we have that out of our system, let's see what kind of magical journey 2 bodies can take together while getting ready for sexy time.  Jane Seddon is the master at describing 365 unique sexual positions, and coming up with some stellar drawings and names to boot. Basically she is the triple threat of coitus creativity.  today, the name of the game is...

the opposite of a hand dryer (if you do it right!)

Jane invites you to bring a chair into this position, so the guy can get comfy while your pregnant partner gets into position with legs wide open.  Now you may not have to be pregnant, Jane doesnt specify, but the picture sure looks like that may be a requirement.  This isnt so much a sex position, but more of a search and discover mission, finding the ever elusive g-spot.

 hello?? g-spot??? hellooooo?

Guys, if you fear that the g-spot is a scary dangerous place, "dont panic! if you've never tried this before, it might seem a little daunting. But its not that hard!" Wise words from a wise woman.

so get ready to work to find the dime sized spot that is known to drive some women wild, and if you need help, here is a handy map

real men dont use maps!

Once you find this bumpy ridged spot on the inside wall of your lover's vagina, give it a rub, and use your other hand or thumb "to masturbate her clitoris." if you are having trouble finding that, please refer to the map above.  The orgasm produced will be deep and intense!

Remember, there are 364 other days to be having sex, and Jane Seddon has one for each day in her book, which you can get at Lover's Lane!

(wave photo-tailgatingideas.com, cave photo- neopets.com, gspot photo-practicalsexadvice.wordpress.com)

How I came to LOVE lube!

Since the day I lost my virginity at the age of 19, having sex has hurt.  It’s never pleasureable, it’s downright painful. The first few times the pain was almost unbearable, but that didn’t strike me as terribly unusual; I knew that losing your virginity often hurt and, frankly, I was just grateful that I didn’t bleed, which would’ve meant sneaking into the laundry in the dead of night to scrub my sheets.  How would I explain that one to my mother?   Logic would tell you that your body is not accustom to sex and it’s probably going to hurt the first, second, or third time. To be honest, I thought maybe my boyfriend was doing it wrong.  Who actually knows the right way to have sex...but anyways…for something that’s supposedly the most natural thing two people can do, sex sure takes a lot of maneuvering, negotiating and post-game analysis. After a few tries, I thought, it would start feeling good.

I dated guys who could care less if I was being pleased, but at the same time I have found a few considerate men who would always insist that I stop them if the pain became too much, which I sometimes did. But more often than not, I gritted my teeth and waited for them to finish. Lucky for them, sex has never been “all about me”.

I was wrong. Sex—I’m talking actual penetration sex—never felt good. It often felt nice—nice to be so close to someone I loved, nice to share that kind of intimacy and trust—but it was never pleasurable the way other sex acts were. It never felt like something that could even approach orgasmic. On the contrary, it hurt like hell. It made me grip on to my boyfriend’s hips and bite into his shoulder in pain rather than in pleasure, praying that he would finish soon, longing for it to end. Sometimes I would even ask…”Are you done yet?” And when it did, I would lie there feeling raw and torn, wincing, while he came down from his orgasm grinning.  Now let’s be serious…Why can’t I have a smile on my face like that?

Was this it? Was this the sex everyone—my girl friends, my guy friends, hell, my entire culture—had been obsessing about? I felt so let down. Sex, after all the hype, had turned out to be anti-climatic, in more ways than one. I felt confused—did all women feel this way? Or was I the only one? Was there something wrong with me?

When my boyfriend and I talked about it, we decided that it was probably a case of our needing more practice. (In hindsight, I see that this solution probably appealed to him not only for altruistic reasons.) I went to the OB/GYN—something I would absolutely recommend you do, if you have similar pain—where a full STD scan and a rather unpleasant exam left my gynecologist scratching her head. My boyfriend and I had tried lube from the drugstore. We tried different positions. Nothing helped. When he was on top, it felt like he was hurting me. When I was on top, it felt like I was hurting myself. Sex was something I endured, because I loved him and I wanted him to be happy.

When that relationship ended and I started dating other people, I kept my standards for who I slept with rather stringent: I only slept with people I was in love with. This was partly because sex was, and still is, a big deal for me. But it was partly because I knew that no matter how I felt about the person, sex would be physically painful. If it was never going to be good, then I could at least ensure that it was nice, that I trusted and cared about the person, and that he cared about me. And as screwed-up as it might sound, I was only willing to let someone inflict that kind of pain on me if they loved me.  Not to mention, you didn’t think I was going to go through that much pain just to go through it right?

Even though I was committed, in theory at least, to a fair, equitable and mutually pleasurable sex life, I always dreaded telling my boyfriends about how painful sex was for me. If there was no solution, I figured, what was the point in taking away their enjoyment? There was no reason for us both to be miserable. When I did tell them about it, or when I was unable to conceal my pain or my frustration, they were disquieted, and sometimes told me how guilty they felt that something that brought them such pleasure was causing me such misery. Could they tell that I was in pain? Some of them could. But it never seemed to bother them enough for them to forgo an orgasm.

I wanted the sex everyone raved about.  I know what sex was supposed to be, but why was it not the same for me?  Sometimes I would cry because I know If anyone deserved to have good, mutually pleasurable sex, it was me—dammit. I eventually started dating someone who wasn’t content to have bearable sex with me. He could tell that I was in pain, and he couldn’t stand it. He was perfectly willing to sacrifice his own orgasm if the alternative meant knowing that I was suffering. And when I told him that I’d tried every solution imaginable, he insisted that we be more imaginative. Without knowing it, I realized I actually was dating someone who understood sex wasn’t the be-all-and-end-all of the relationship and wasn’t going to force it if I was just going to break down and cry.

A few weeks ago, the two of us headed to Lover’s Lane in Ypsilanti, where I live. For those unfamiliar with Lover’s Lane stores, they are couple friendly sex shops designed to make shopping for sex toys and related products pleasant and judgment-free, and they are staffed entirely by romance specialists. My boyfriend and I were incredibly upfront with the sales person: “Sex hurts for me.” I said. “A lot. I’m really, really sensitive.” The sales person, a woman who was very approachable, walked us through a variety of lubricants and recommended an organic silicone-water blend from the Sliquid line that contained aloe. We bought it, along with a few other lube products, and walked out of the store with high hopes. Afterall, this is what they specialize in.  Let’s give it a whirl.

That night, something amazing happened. For the first time ever, I had painless sex. For the first time ever, I wasn’t just enduring it. There wasn’t anything medically wrong with me at all—I just needed a little liquid courage, so to speak. The idea of resorting to lube for mere vaginal sex had always bothered me; using it had always felt like an admission that my body wasn’t good enough, as though it wasn’t properly performing this most basic of functions. But this time, I shelved my pride. After nine years of nice but bad sex, what choice did I have?

Finally, after nine years of pain, a breakthrough. It was as though, after all these years, I had finally lost my virginity. I wouldn’t exactly say I enjoyed it; after all, who really enjoys their first time? I was too shocked by the fact that I didn’t feel pain to actually feel any pleasure—yet. That will come later. And perhaps, if we’re very lucky, so will I.

Sex Degrees of Separation

Being a guy, I didn't realize that Sex in the City was still relevant until I heard that this past weekend was the opening of the second movie in the series.

 Sex in the city 2

Since I know absolutely nothing about the show, I am not here to bash it, or rave about it, but I did find a cool article that caught my eye.  The title of the article is "Sex and City girls had 115 million "partners"."  For a second,  I wondered what kind of awesome gang bang of a show this was, until I realized that these partners were "indirect sexual partners".

Sex in the city 2?

OK, back to not really caring about the show, but it was worth wondering how they came to these numbers. Apparently, a place called lloydspharmacy.com has a sex degrees of separation calculator, based on the number of people you have slept with, and figuring how many partners the people you have slept with, slept with...and so on. Have fun finding your own number here.

         indirectly getting laid thousands of times

Plus if you really want to know some scientific dirt about all of your co-workers, and make you think twice about using their phone, or trying for an office hookup, lloyds also has an awesome calculator called "the chances are..."  for all those people who wish well on other employees, but knew they had dirty secrets! ( I don't know if there is really any science involved, maybe the people of lloyds just like to be dicks :)

After all of this, you may want to stock up on condoms and hand sanitizer. If you need to reload your condom supply, check out the selection Lover's Lane has to offer here. Stay safe!

(4 women photo from dipity.com, houston from johnnygoodtimes.com, guy from laughinggasonline.wordpress.com)