This New Year, Resolve to Make These 8 Sex Resolutions
Every year, Americans carry on the ancient tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. Typically, they are aimed at weight loss, quitting smoking, eating green, exercising more, etc. All useful and well-intended. Most never fulfilled.
We propose that couples establish a separate list of sex resolutions. We promise you will be much more likely to fulfill them. They’re fun, feel good, are good for you and, well, they involve sex with someone you love! That’s a list you are far less likely to neglect or conveniently forget.
Whether you just met or were high school sweethearts, have three children and are about to celebrate your Platinum (20th) Anniversary, any time of the year is a good time to take stock of your relationship and what you can do to refresh and reenergize it. So keeping a running list of sex resolutions can be a fun way to check off things you want to do regularly or try for the first time.
The list you develop is highly individualized and can include anything from – yes – getting checkups or renewing your gym memberships to ensure that you remain in good health, so vital to having healthy sex – to trying another new adult toy or an unexplored position in the Kama Sutra. Below are several suggestions that might be something you would like to add to your New Year’s Sex Resolutions List for 2022!
1.) Start by making sure you are focused on each other and that you are present and affectionate when you are together. Think about activities you can do together and share. As the Buehler Institute, a sex therapy and education center in Laguna Beach, CA, advises, get in sync: “There is something to be said for having similar rhythms in your lives. Go to bed and wake up together. Share meals. Exercise at the same time. You’ll be more in tune with each others needs, wants, and moods–and you’ll feel more intimate.”
2.) Try new things, things you’ve always thought or talked about doing. “In the bedroom, try new toys, new lube, new positions, new erotica, new role plays, new music, new fragrance, new bedding,” suggest the Buehler experts. “Doing new things in the bedroom shows sexual interest and rouses the brain. Doing new things out of the bedroom–cooking a new recipe together, visiting a new part of town–also perks up the brain and makes the prospect of sex more fun.”
3.) Here’s one we bet you’ve never thought of: Find a quiet night to share a little bedtime reading with each other in four simple steps: 1.) Prepare a favorite bevvy, hot or cold. 2.) Slip into something soft, silky and comfortable. 3.) Curl up in bed. 4.) Read a selection of sex fan fiction together or, better yet, to each other in your softest, sexiest voices. Here are ten of the best, as curated and posted by Cosmopolitan on December 21, 2021. What is sex fan fiction? Imagine Harry and Hermione from the Harry Potter books hooking up and go from there!
4.) Vow to actively, creatively seduce each other at least once a month (if not more), suggests Laura Corn, NY Times Bestselling author of 101 Nights of Great Sex. “Dream up something unique to do together in the bedroom, make a plan at least a week out and let your partner know something special is coming,” she says, adding build anticipation by dropping hints along the way (sexting works well) until the big, unforgettable night. “The elements of surprise and anticipation that this helps create are critical to a lasting, powerful sexual relationship.”
5.) Change one thing, every time you do it, counsels British sex expert and relationship coach Tracy Cox. Try new locations. If you usually make love at night, do it in the morning. Use a blindfold. Put some favorite music on. Talk while you’re having sex. “It really doesn't matter what it is: the brain doesn't require much to turn a commonplace activity into something wildly exciting!” she enthuses. “The main aim is to stop falling into the classic couple trap of doing the same thing every single time you have sex.”
6.) A complementary piece of advice comes from mindbodygreen.com: Take a risk together. “A great way to develop more intimacy in your relationship is to choose an area of your life that each of you would like to take a risk in and go for it,” says Weena Cullins, a Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor for MBG Relationships. “Allowing your partner to support you while you try something new can foster trust and confidence in each other as well as the relationship…. Deeper trust equals increased intimacy.”
7.) Upgrade your bedroom. “As far as wall colors go, couples with carmel-colored ones reportedly get it on no less than three times a week, although eggplant and shades of blue can also get you in the mood,” writes Shellie R. Warren for Necole. If it's time for a new mattress, a Sapira hybrid by Leesa one is firm and also absorbs a considerable amount of "movement noise" (if you've got kids)…. cotton sheets with a real 200-thread count are affordable and comfortable…. don't underestimate the power of some crisp white sheets. Word on the street is they subconsciously turn us on (which is a part of the reason why hotels use them).”
8.) Make a post-pandemic bucket list. Dr. Jenn Mann in her “10 Science-Backed Sex and Relationship Resolutions Every Couple Should Make” article in the December 22, 2021 InStyle.com, says: “It's time to make a list of all the things you are both excited to get to do together again in the coming year, whether it's finally taking that big trip or going to a Broadway play. This will help elevate your mood and give you both something to look forward to.”
Now start compiling your list. Alone. Together. In bed.