Self-Love for Self-Isolation
Love Yourself Sexually
We talked in the last post about making sure to keep sex a part of the picture while staying at home. If you're single or quarantined alone, that means you need to take care of your sexual needs by yourself. You definitely still have those needs, and you'll feel better all around if they are fulfilled. Masturbation is the ultimate form of self-love and its benefits are numerous, whether you're single or paired up. While masturbation usually comes pretty naturally to men, women may feel more of a stigma about it, and therefore engage in it less, even though it is GREAT for you! Not relying on a partner for sexual satisfaction, whether you are or are not in a relationship, empowers you to love your body and experience greater sexual satisfaction. It can lessen tension and stress, relieve headaches and menstrual cramps, and help you relax so you have an easier time sleeping at night. Here are some fun approaches to try if masturbation is still a bit foreign (or a bit boring) to you:
1. With your hands vs. with a sex toy: There are a myriad of toys for both men and women, and while some are best used for partner play, many are designed just for you! Think about what sensations give you your best orgasms, and look for one that fits your needs. Men, if you've never explored prostate play, a P-spot toy might be just the thing to try now as a new experience. No toys on hand? Your hand can get the job done just as well. Explore all of your erogenous zones until you find your own hot button, then touch and caress it in just the ways you like until you achieve your desired goal. You're in control!
2. With lube vs. without lube: Lube is almost always vital for sex with a partner, but for masturbation, it's up to you! Some guys are content with nothing or with just lotion, but a good water-based lube is safe with toys, and a slippery silicone lube is great for a date with your hands. Ladies, you might produce enough natural lubrication to not really need it when masturbating, but just a little bit might prove life-changing! Try both ways!
3. Try visual stimulation: Pornography is nothing new, and nothing to be ashamed of. Many, many singles and couples, men and women, use porn to help enchance their masturbation experience. If you've never tried it before, try it out now! There are so many options, you're sure to find what you're into. Having visual cues from an intense sexual experience can help your brain and body figure out what it should be doing and feeling. Coupled? Find something you can enjoy together to help get you both in the mood for sex or mutual masturbation in an exciting new way. Porn not your thing? Take a sexual virtual vacation by finding YouTube videos of serene scenery...beaches, mountains, jungles, or soothing spas...and imagine you are there while you pleasure yourself to your heart's content.
4. Location, location, location: If your masturbation routine (if you don't have one, make one!) is getting stale, it's time to shake things up a bit. Try moving to different rooms than usual. Just like a change of scenery is helpful to make sex fresh and new, the same applies to masturbation. If you typically masturbate in your bedroom, try it in the bath or shower. This makes it even easier to clean up afterwards, and ladies...do you have a shower head that pulls off the wall, or jets in your bathtub? Give it a try - just saying! Any other room where you can have comfort and privacy is worth a go! Try sensual tricks to make the scenario seem different, too. Turn on a fan or pile on the blankets, put on a blindfold or see what you can accomplish with mittens on, or treat yourself to a little ice play or warm wax...just because you're putting it on yourself doesn't make it any less surprising or enjoyable!
5. Make it special: Who says that just because masturbation usually occurs by yourself, that it shouldn't be a special, sensual experience? Self-love can be just as satisfying as a partnered sexual encounter if you take the time to set the mood right. Slip into something comfortable that also makes you feel super sexy, even if you need to take it off later to get the job done! Light some candles or incense for a beautiful glow and fragrance. Put on some music that provides the right rhythm and ambiance for getting your solo groove on. Dim the lights, and prepare to feel all of the pleasure you can provide yourself! You might be surprised by the level of sexual satisfaction you can achieve!